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Divorce, Remarriage, and Aging

This week our class had the opportunity to discuss divorce, remarriage, and aging. These three topics are things we hear about constantly in our generation. We live in a culture now that doesn't prepare for marriage, but rather prepares for divorce. We tell our women to "prepare themselves for a career just in case." When we feel like a marriage, date, or relationship won't last then we don't give ourselves fully to the other person. Can you see the trend of problems that can arise from this? In class, we discussed the different "stations" that come with divorce and they are listed below. These basically outline the problems that arise when a divorce comes into play. Stations of divorce: -Emotional -Legal -Economic -Coparental (working out custody and visitation with the kids) -Community -Psychic As you can see, divorce is not something that just affects you and the person splitting. It is something that affects your family, community, and le

Parenting

This week our class discussed the concepts of parenting in depth. As a child, I got to experience and see different parenting styles and techniques. From this, I got a glimpse of what worked best and what styles did not. In class, we got to elaborate on this topic to see what has been proven by research to work the best. The purpose of parenting is to protect and prepare your children to survive and thrive in the world they're going to live in. Children and parents grow together to learn how to behave, act, inspire, and teach. You want to help prepare your children to launch into the real world. Families should be founded on love, respect, trust, and responsibility. When these principles are taught and reinforced within a family, you are setting yourself up for success. So how do you develop and create an environment where this is possible? The first step is being mindful of your family and of each individual's needs. This differs greatly with each family, so you need to trul

Fatherhood

For this week's discussion I have looked at an article published by the University of Texas at Austin. This article is called, "Making Good on Fatherhood: A Review of the Fatherhood Research." Within this article we find information on fatherhood and the important characteristics a successful father has. The University itself conducted multiple experiments to collect and gather this data. As you reflect on your past experiences with your own father in your life- what comes to mind? What did you find to be effective in your father's approach to life and what did you find to not be helpful? The article itself discusses how a fatherhood program works. It lists some of the things it strives to achieve and I find them to be extremely important. While no father is going to raise their children and guide them in the same way, there are some important characteristics that all fathers should develop. It states that, "In broad terms, fatherhood programs are designed to f

Communication

This past week our class got the opportunity to discuss communication as a whole. We discussed some of the common communication errors, how communication plays a role in relationships, and how we can effectively communicate. As a class we came together to create what we thought was a good definition of communication. We stated that communication is the, "conscious or unconscious body language that another person comprehends and takes in." It's the act of effectively expressing your inner thoughts in a manner that the other person can take in. After we discussed the definition of communication, we found many ways in which we can gain this "effective communication" in our relationships. Good communication can allow us to dodge some of the problems that are so commonly found within families. Researchers found that : approximately 14% of our communication comes from our actual words, 35% comes from our tone, and 51% comes from our nonverbal communication cues.Th

Tensions and Trials

This week we discussed stressors as a whole. This includes what a stressor is, how they affect early marriage life, and how they can be solved / dealt with in an acceptable manner.  The first question you may have is: what is a stressor? A stressor is an event that causes tension. When a couple first gets married we see a lot of stressors start to develop. Finances, kids, cars, house payments, etc. all may come into play. This can be a lot to deal with at times. In our discussion we covered a very unique topic: how stressors, crisis, and mindset affect one another. When a trial arises, every person will differ on how they view it, deal with it, and use resources available to them. Something that I found unique is that these three things may rely on or cause one another. For example, how you think about the problem can cause you to determine what resources you have available to you. On the other hand, someone else may find what resources they have available to them and then determine

Intimacy & Fidelity

Welcome back to my blog! So during last weeks discussion we covered the stages of engagement and marriage. To build upon this, we are going to discuss the early stages of marriage and sexual intimacy. In our culture it is so "normal" to be sexually involved with your boyfriend or significant other prior to marriage. So, why is this a problem?  In our class this week we discussed the importance and the sacred act that sex is. Sex is supposed to be something that is used to show affection, love, and ultimately bring forth children when you are ready. So why is casual sex bad then? When you perform sexual acts prior to marriage you lose the sense of importance. If you have had sexual relations prior to marriage it makes it so you can't experience the "purest form" of it once you have found your eternal companion. It won't be as special or as sacred. Sexual intimacy allows you to bond and attach to one another on a different level. Prior to having sex with so

Marriage

Have you ever dreamed up your "perfect wedding?" If you are like me, you probably have Pinterest boards decked out with pictures of the perfect dress, cake, invites, etc. However, marriage is not just about the fancy ceremony. It is much more than that. Marriage is about the uniting of two people for eternity. Covenants are made, and promises are made. In this week's discussions we discussed the process of finding a mate, selecting a mate, getting engaged, and then the early steps of marriage itself. In my last blog post I covered the topic of finding and selecting a mate. So today, I want to focus on the engagement and marriage part of this process. Once you have made it to the engagement stage, you should be making plans for the wedding itself. A common theme in today's thinking is that the wedding ceremony has to be this huge, extravagant event that costs a ton of money. Many people even believe enough to the point that they state that they don't want to get