Intimacy & Fidelity

Welcome back to my blog! So during last weeks discussion we covered the stages of engagement and marriage. To build upon this, we are going to discuss the early stages of marriage and sexual intimacy. In our culture it is so "normal" to be sexually involved with your boyfriend or significant other prior to marriage. So, why is this a problem? 

In our class this week we discussed the importance and the sacred act that sex is. Sex is supposed to be something that is used to show affection, love, and ultimately bring forth children when you are ready. So why is casual sex bad then? When you perform sexual acts prior to marriage you lose the sense of importance. If you have had sexual relations prior to marriage it makes it so you can't experience the "purest form" of it once you have found your eternal companion. It won't be as special or as sacred. Sexual intimacy allows you to bond and attach to one another on a different level. Prior to having sex with someone you should feel warm, safe, and close to that person. Some of the benefits and opportunities that come with sex include:

• Opportunity to be a giver and receiver.
• Opportunity to express your deepest form of love, affection, and gratitude. 
• Deeper conversations (as you express with one another what feels good, what you want, and what you don't like it makes all aspects of your communication within your relationship better).
• A chance to work together. 
• A chance to prove that you're gentle, kind, and caring.
• Confidence in yourself and your actions. 

While all of these things may sound marvelous and magical, sex also has some large downfalls. You are allowing the other person to know you completely, you're exposing your entire self (which can be extremely nerve-wrecking the first time), and you're setting yourself up for failure at times. You may be nervous about your first time but it is something that is truly sacred when done between two people committed one to another. This brings me to our next topic- that of fidelity. Once you are married and have shared that special bond you need to stay connected to one another. The word fidelity can be best explained by this definition: faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support. This is an extremely important principle in marriage. The act of marriage itself tells the other that you are 110% committed to them- and to them only. You express your love for your partner solely and rely on them. This will set you up for a continual healthy marriage and relationship. When you start flirting and noticing things about other people surrounding you, your partner may lose their appeal. There is a famous quote that states that, "if you have eyes only for your spouse they will become the most attractive person ever." This is basically saying that when you view your spouse as the "only one for you" you can experience the most intimate form of love. You will crave them and all they have to provide for you. You will have one person in your life that you can trust with everything and rely completely on. 

The most important thing to remember is this: sex is a sacred act and allows you to show love to the person that is stuck with you for eternity. It will be scary at times- but you are in it together. To ensure you each get to discuss your emotions regarding the topic talk about these things prior to "jumping into it." Express what your concerns are, what your expectations are, and what you are wanting the outcome to be. When you put everything out on the table- it will leave room for you to have the best experience possible.