Marriage
Have you ever dreamed up your "perfect wedding?" If you are like me, you probably have Pinterest boards decked out with pictures of the perfect dress, cake, invites, etc. However, marriage is not just about the fancy ceremony. It is much more than that. Marriage is about the uniting of two people for eternity. Covenants are made, and promises are made. In this week's discussions we discussed the process of finding a mate, selecting a mate, getting engaged, and then the early steps of marriage itself.
In my last blog post I covered the topic of finding and selecting a mate. So today, I want to focus on the engagement and marriage part of this process. Once you have made it to the engagement stage, you should be making plans for the wedding itself. A common theme in today's thinking is that the wedding ceremony has to be this huge, extravagant event that costs a ton of money. Many people even believe enough to the point that they state that they don't want to get married because it is "too expensive." However, this is not the case. You do not have to pay a bunch of money to have a memorable wedding. You can call on friends to help you plan and decorate your own wedding, make your own cake, find a low cost (but still beautiful) dress, and have an appropriate ceremony. Once you make a budget, you can stay within the walls of that. As long as the ceremony is meaningful it will be memorable. You also need to keep in mind that the people attending are not coming to enjoy a nice "party" but rather they are gathering together to see two people in love make life-long commitments to one another. As long as the focus is on the unity of two people, the wedding will be magical.
As you begin this process of blending your life with another person, you also need to figure out the finances. How are you going to pay for the wedding, pay for housing, pay the bills, etc. Prior to marriage, you need to sit down and have a good discussion about how you are going to pay for everything. This will help you to have peace of mind and maintain a budget all the way through the crazy stages of early marriage.
After the marriage ceremony itself, you become committed to the other person. You begin a new life that is now shared with your significant other. During this time, you will experience a very large adjustment. You will have to adjust to the needs of the other person, the blended finances, the shared space, and everything else that you are not "used" to. You both grew up separately in different environments so it will take some time to adjust to each other's lifestyles. Through it all, make sure to have an open communication line between the two of you. Express to each other what traditions you want to keep, what rules you want to have, what you expect of the other person, and so forth. This will help to smooth out some of the tensions that may arise during the early stages of adjusting.
In general, through the process of getting married remember why you committed to them in the first place. Things may get rough, confusing, and hard but if you stick to your happy memories it will help you to get through it all. This marriage is a two-sided thing so work together. Ensure you show your love and support. Go out of your way to make the other person feel loved and special. And make your marriage your own. Don't follow social norms- your marriage and life together is yours to create.
In my last blog post I covered the topic of finding and selecting a mate. So today, I want to focus on the engagement and marriage part of this process. Once you have made it to the engagement stage, you should be making plans for the wedding itself. A common theme in today's thinking is that the wedding ceremony has to be this huge, extravagant event that costs a ton of money. Many people even believe enough to the point that they state that they don't want to get married because it is "too expensive." However, this is not the case. You do not have to pay a bunch of money to have a memorable wedding. You can call on friends to help you plan and decorate your own wedding, make your own cake, find a low cost (but still beautiful) dress, and have an appropriate ceremony. Once you make a budget, you can stay within the walls of that. As long as the ceremony is meaningful it will be memorable. You also need to keep in mind that the people attending are not coming to enjoy a nice "party" but rather they are gathering together to see two people in love make life-long commitments to one another. As long as the focus is on the unity of two people, the wedding will be magical.
As you begin this process of blending your life with another person, you also need to figure out the finances. How are you going to pay for the wedding, pay for housing, pay the bills, etc. Prior to marriage, you need to sit down and have a good discussion about how you are going to pay for everything. This will help you to have peace of mind and maintain a budget all the way through the crazy stages of early marriage.
After the marriage ceremony itself, you become committed to the other person. You begin a new life that is now shared with your significant other. During this time, you will experience a very large adjustment. You will have to adjust to the needs of the other person, the blended finances, the shared space, and everything else that you are not "used" to. You both grew up separately in different environments so it will take some time to adjust to each other's lifestyles. Through it all, make sure to have an open communication line between the two of you. Express to each other what traditions you want to keep, what rules you want to have, what you expect of the other person, and so forth. This will help to smooth out some of the tensions that may arise during the early stages of adjusting.
In general, through the process of getting married remember why you committed to them in the first place. Things may get rough, confusing, and hard but if you stick to your happy memories it will help you to get through it all. This marriage is a two-sided thing so work together. Ensure you show your love and support. Go out of your way to make the other person feel loved and special. And make your marriage your own. Don't follow social norms- your marriage and life together is yours to create.
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