Parenting

This week our class discussed the concepts of parenting in depth. As a child, I got to experience and see different parenting styles and techniques. From this, I got a glimpse of what worked best and what styles did not. In class, we got to elaborate on this topic to see what has been proven by research to work the best.

The purpose of parenting is to protect and prepare your children to survive and thrive in the world they're going to live in. Children and parents grow together to learn how to behave, act, inspire, and teach. You want to help prepare your children to launch into the real world. Families should be founded on love, respect, trust, and responsibility. When these principles are taught and reinforced within a family, you are setting yourself up for success. So how do you develop and create an environment where this is possible? The first step is being mindful of your family and of each individual's needs. This differs greatly with each family, so you need to truly get to know what each person in your own needs. This includes being actively involved. You need to develop a relationship of trust and love with each child to help foster the best growth for them. As a parent, it is also so hard to allow your child to learn on their own, but it is essential. If you are a "bulldozer" or "snowplow" parent you will only create a strained relationship with your child. You can not control every thing your child does, says, or experiences. You need to allow the child to experience the natural consequences of their actions as much as possible. The only time that you should not allow the natural consequences to take place is when....

• The situation is too dangerous.
• It is too far off in the future.
• Their actions will affect other people. 

This will make it so the child knows for themselves that what you guided them or told them would happen, truly did. They can not then come back and say something like, "well I can't go to this ____ because my parents said no." They will develop their own idea of right and wrong and be able to say no because they want to and it's not just something you told them to do. 

Using effective parenting techniques is so important because you are your children's immediate examples. They look up to you to know how to act, react, and experience life. If you remember to put your child first and do everything out of love you will do a great job. Your children will come to develop a good relationship with you and feel as if they matter and are trusted. Children feel loved when you go out of your way to care for, be there for, and suffer with them. The most important thing is to prepare your children for life after the boundaries of your house. You want them to become agents of themselves. This is a lifelong process in which you both are learning, so adjust as you go. Figure out what works best for your specific family. Just remember to make them feel as if they matter and are being heard. The child is not always one that may be wrong in a situation- it could also be you who is at fault. So approach every difficult situation that arises with an open mind. Do not be afraid to take blame when you are wrong and apologize. This fosters admirable qualities within the child. They will come to admire you for this.